dear diary

i'm falling in love again with him today , for all the love you give :) HAHA

today is the most amazing day ever , i had so much fun but what disturb me is when i know what i dont want to know .. it's totally make me wanna cry .. i don't care what they wanna say about me , but i think this might be the wrong way to give a revenge .. everybody on the other's side , and i'm the one who suffer .. i still remember when this thing happen , it all started and i can see when everybody made an excuses and i'm sick of it cause i know you guys wont come by the way :) deep inside me , i'm crying badly even though with you , you can see i'm smiling happily :) it's hard to understand me cause the real me also can't understand myself.. it just i live in my own world without anybody else to be friend.. it's hard to explain what i felt , its hard to let you know what i'm thinking .. i can't figure out what i want in my life , this totally make me sad .. all i do is laying down on my pillow, think what's ahead , close my eyes and let the tears fall down on my cheek .. nobody there to make me calm , nobody there to give me spirit because i don't want anybody to feel what i feel .. i just don't want to burden with my problem ..

im started to babbling -.-

ignore me , kbai